[Here, some music to listen to while reading this.]

It’s stopped being amusing posts, and more turned into a parade of Homestuck avatars, screen-caps of water flooded meeting halls, and the same three DF related comics over, and over, and over again. (You know them, SMBC’s Dwarf Fortress player’s guide one, the difficulty curve one which I swear was for EVE Online at some point, and then the explanation of fun.)

As well as twelve thousand “lol I did something stupid and the fort died.” posts that can either be summed up to one of the following: Demons, Lava, Water.

This is not to say I didn’t contribute… in fact part of me fears it might just be my fault. But don’t get me wrong, I’m still gonna keep playing. XD

…Gotta say, didn’t plan for my fort to go like this.

I’ve been playing Dragon Age recently and I noticed something

Dwarven cities tend to be very ornate, lots of statues in movies and games. So, to make things interesting this time around I’ve decided to make my fort excessively ornate.

I got lucky, loooooooooooooads of iron. So, lots of iron statues and other iron stuffs. Who knows what will happen.

Iron.

Okay, so awhile back some of you may have remembered me starting a fort that was primarily to be above ground (I used some stone for a wall, etc) but anyway, all above ground buildings and the like.

Here’s how it went down:

The local state official requested an Adamantine throne. We had already mined the local veins to what I felt was the safe minimum.

First rock we picked succeeded in loosing demons on my fort, Couldn’t get a plug in place fast enough, end of story.

Demons man. Demons. (…Okay and State officials)

…Oh so before I go to bed, I just remembered I played Terraria today and noticed the Demolitions Expert’s name is “Urist”

…Totally not a reference, absolutely common name.

Playing good ol dorf fort.

I’ve discovered apparently windows deconstruct if built on ice that then thaws.

Anyone know how to fish five crystal glass windows out of a river?

This is an elf bone shield. All craftsmanship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with pear cut black zircons and cushion dolomite cabochons and encircled with bands of elf bone and copper.

Well, I’m sure it’ll look nice but I mean an elf-bone shield? I doubt it’ll do much.

We were attacked by the undead. Hundreds of them. We closed up the fort and got the archers to the wall, problem was they were out of range.

After a month of watching them mill around outside the walls, I had them bring a kitten to the wall.

The Kitten is fine, we’ve used it to lure them all over to the wall and kill them. Siege broken.

It all started with a bear.

A Grizzly Bear managed to wander in the south entrance to the Hamlet. As it began towards the housing sector, I ordered the newly appointed Captain of the Guard to grab one of the Steel war hammers we bought (with plans of melting) to kill it.

The bear took one swipe at him, and killed him. Little did I know apparently the captain of the guard was buddies with the rest of the damn fort. A farmer, took one look at the guy next too him and went berserk attempting to deck him in the back of his head.

He missed and the Miller, gingerly turned and ripped his head off. With the Battlestar Galactica Theme Music this began a tantrum spiral. As if this weren’t enough, a goblin ambush started.

But wait, there’s more.

To those of you new to my tumblr it’s worth mentioning I tend to play with a modded race in Dwarf Fortress because frankly dwarves get boring after awhile and well, if it wasn’t obvious I’m a scalie (Think “Furry” but Scales instead of Fur) and enjoy using scaley races. XD

This means The dwarves aren’t my starter race. To those of you new to Dwarf Fortress for best results, check what races dislike you before embark. I did not. I was apparently at war with the Dwarves. A siege happened.

With everyone apeshit in the fort, blood, bodies, and junk everywhere, goblins killing people in the streets, a small dwarven army attacking I figured things couldn’t get worse.

Since the goblins were nearby, I loosed the bear we locked in a side room in the fort on them in hopes of it attacking them. Both the goblins and the bear went separate ways without so much as a sideways glace and returned to killing my people.

A few more Goblin ambushes popped on all sides of the fort, including the siege side, who began fighting the dwarves oddly enough. As the goblins died off the survivors retreated, the dwarves were defeated. I had two Nagas left, locked in their quarters soon to die from dehydration I unlocked the doors and let them run to what was left of the Great Hall.

Only to discover, the Bear was still alive, drunk, and pissed.

It began with a Grizzly Bear, it ended, with a Grizzly Bear.

Things aren’t going well, In the spring of year two a goblin ambush claimed the life of our first Chief Medical Officer. The first caravan from the elves did not go well, they were absolutely butchered by the Goblins, the human caravan which was kind enough to trade us some stone in exchange for some wooden crafts. We’ve used said stone to produce a few mechanisms, some blocks for the forges, and most importantly, mills to begin a rather beautifully productive cloth industry.

Sadly, we lost two others in a second goblin attack, the creator of one of the three artifacts created, all useless currently, as well as a fishermen. We desperately need to get the walls finished as well as train a military.

Members of the Fort, Alive and Dead in order of Arrival: 

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Well, year one is going… It’s going. Things are considerably harder than expected without steady access to building materials. I’ve imported some stone for millstones and mechanisms, and a miner has “Tilled” the land, that is dug a hole for the farms, as well as a few cellars for some buildings.

I’ve also built a bridge, in preparation for the walls I plan to build eventually. I’ve got some folks collecting the plants that are growing thanks to the nonstop rain, but we’re in desperate need of a millita; a black bear managed to get into my fort and kill a couple dogs before one of them got a lucky hit and killed it.

Not too sure if my luck will keep up, but things are… Going.